I've got two (legs, that is). My dog has three. I'm pretty sure that makes five. See? Thousands of dollars of post-secondary education at work, right there.
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Tuesday, May 29, 2012
In Which You Discover I am a Huge Pervy McPerverson.
I woke up one morning several years ago with this poem sprung fully-formed from my head. I call it, "Ode to a Hot Guy." Any hot guy, really. Alexander Skarsgard, maybe, or that dude who plays Thor. Mmm, beardy buffness. Anyway, since I know my readers have such fine literary sensibilities, I figured I'd share. (Hi, Mom! Go away, Mom! No, you can stay, but you should probably redirect Dad before he has a heart attack.) So, without further ado:
Ode to a Hot Guy
I wish that I were cotton.
I'd be your tighty-whiteys and be with you all the time.
I'd always be
in your pants.
I wish I were elastic.
You'd (ahem) bend me and you'd stretch me
with the friction
of your pants.
I wish I were a fly.
Maybe on your undies, or even just the wall.
I'd get to see you
in no pants.
Yeah, that'd do just fine.
Bwahahahahahaha! I LOVE THIS! And now I'm off to share it with MY daughter! Hahahahahaha! Who said 50-something grannies couldn't appreciate hot guys? ;)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not me, Bubbe! :D
DeleteWell, Maya Angelou has nothing to fear but then again, only YOU would write an ode to tighty-whities. I feel compelled to point out that if you were elastic, you'd be smothered by the waistband. Of his pants. Yeah, let's get those pants off!
ReplyDeletePants off--yes, I do like the way you think!
DeleteThis was even better than the time that all the firefighters sang "Happy Birthday" to me in their worst-ever singing voices! (Come to think of it, that's the first time I've ever used that as a compliment...)
ReplyDeleteWrite some more poetry! Please?
Were they half-naked firefighters? Those are my favorite kind...
DeleteI don't do poetry very often, but if I think of something, you (and the rest of my readers) will be the first to know! :D