Goodbye, this last year. Hello, Earth's Last Year.

Well folks, this is my last post of 2011.

According to the much-hyped Mayan calendar, the world will end on 12/21/2012, and that knowledge has influenced my New Year's Resolutions.

• Eat whatever.  But don't gain too much weight, because I still want to be a fairly svelte specimen when an alien species unearths my corpse in a few millenia from the Vesuvius-style ruins.
• Drink more beer.  Alcohol makes a great preservative.
• Get a tattoo for identification purposes.
• Take up running, and enroll in a wilderness survival course.  I may as well give myself a sporting chance.
• Continue doing laundry semi-regularly.  Because who wants to die in dirty underpants?

So, folks, what'll it be?  Geothermal flares?  Volcanic eruptions?  Asteroids?  Pestilence?  Robots?  And what, if anything, are you doing to prepare?

Oh, yeah, and it's not too late!  Email your pet's Ugly Sweater Photos to danathebiped@gmx.com, and you might win a $10 pet store gift card!!!  (To be honest, your likelihood at this point of winning is almost certain...)


(True:  The 12/21 date may actually be a "give-or-take-60-days" appointment, which makes waiting for the cable guy seem pretty reasonable.)

Trapper has already proved he is ready to survive anything, and will come out the other side tail wagging.

Hops in the Right Direction: Pass the Salt, Please!

It's unseasonably warm in Chicago right now (a balmy 45 degrees), but theoretically, 'tis the season for snow and ice.  And since we as a species unfortunately do not hibernate until mid-May, we're going to be encountering some salt.

Salt has been, you know, kind of important in history.  With food preservation possible, one's diet didn't depend on what was available that season.  Roman soldiers may have been received part of they pay as salt, which is where the word "salary" comes from.  You can be "the salt of the earth" or "worth your salt."

You know all those town in England that end in "wich"?  They're associated with brine wells.  Just think, without salt, you might be eating a sandhill for lunch instead of a sandwich.

When it comes to walking your dog, though, you're probably not thinking about any of that.  (Except maybe the sandwich part.)

The kind of salt used on sidewalks and roads is laden with chemicals that are brutal to your skin and your dog's feet, and if you live in a region with seasons, it's pretty much unavoidable.  Maybe I worry too much, but what can I do if Prada's foot starts cracking and bleeding?  Getting around on three legs isn't a problem, but if she's down to two...

Well, I recently learned that sidewalk salt can be roughly divided into two categories:  the rocky kind, and the beady kind.  The rocky kind has lots of chemicals and can hurt your dog's feet.  The beady kind is way, way worse.  If you look down the sidewalk and the entire block has beady salt, you might want to consider crossing the street.

I have written about my thoughts on dog boots--a good idea for athletic dogs who tend to get snow balled painfully in between their paw pads, but dogs don't tend to be a fan.  Prada wouldn't move in them at all.  Paw wax is one option, to give a thin layer of protection, and I've discovered there is such a thing as paw balm, for soothing already irritated pads.  (All natural ingredients are non-toxic, so if your dog licks at it, no big.)  You can also use a damp washcloth the wipe off the worst of the salt and chemicals.  I've also heard good reviews about this product for messier paws, though I haven't tried it myself.

This isn't exactly a life-or-death situation--dogs' paws are made to handle all kinds of terrain, after all--but it's a good idea to be aware of the environment, and pay attention that their feet aren't getting too abused over the winter months.

Trapper's story is a very sad one.  He was found with his leg caught in an animal trap, and the first shelter he was brought to, where he spent a week, wasn't able to give him proper vet care.  He developed tetanus, and still needed a proper amputation.  He has since had that surgery.  His leg has now been entirely removed--no stump for an athletic dog to beat up, and no more tetanus, either.  With lots of care and love, he is finally ready to be adopted.  Even if you can't consider that, you might consider donating a small amount to help cover his medical bills.  This happy, loving guy is lucky to have a second chance, and with our help, he'll hopefully find his happily ever after.

Dude.

Dude. I am an award-winning writer!  Which is, if not one step closer to me being famous and too rich to do my own laundry which would happily result in my consistently having clean laundry, then at least it's one step closer to there not being anything between the "fivelegsbetweenus" and the ".com".

I was nominated by Brian R Christensen of Unintimidated by Convention.  He's awesome, and not just because he thinks I'm cool.  He posts on everyday kinds of things in a fresh, funny way, like in this post, which is one of my favorites but makes me feel weird in public bathrooms.

Here's how it works. When you get the Versatile Blogger, you're supposed to do the following:


1) Nominate 15 other bloggers

2) Inform them of the nomination

3)  Share 7 random things about yourself

4) Thank the blogger who nominated you; and 

5) Add the Versatile Blogger logo to your post

***

So, without further ado:

Fifteen nominations?  Really?  I hardly even know that many people, and most of those that blog are, you know, cooler than me and already have tons of awards and books deals and metal chickens and things.  But I've got a few undiscovered gems to reveal...

Gem A:  seabeegirl  Are you familiar with her?  You should be.  She talks about everything from music and art to Lord of the Rings and video games--she's interested in everything, it seems.

Gem B:  When Curiosity Met Insanity  Bri_chan and zippitydodah27 are two extremely talented artists and storytellers who have made me snort snot out of my nose because I'm laughing harder than is safe.  Truth is, they're big-time, but everybody should know them.

Gem C:  blatherbybubbe is everything you could want from a blogger:  She is entertaining and insightful; she hones things down to what I would miss amongst all the drama.  Basically, she's one of the coolest bubbes I know, and you probably should know her, too.

Also a Gem, but not a blog I'm nominating because I'm pretty sure the blogger wouldn't take the award seriously coming from me, but hey, this is my big opportunity to talk up blogs I like:  benforceblog.com  He's smart, he has great taste, knows a lot about sports and watches some fairly terrible movies.  Show him some love.

Now I've got to go let all these gemmies how much I lurv them....

Okay I'm back.

Prepare yourself for...

Seven Random Things

1.  I have a birthmark on my neck that looks like a hickey.  That is unfortunate.

2.  I have some weird food allergies.  Diet soda makes me lose time, and ice cream makes me drunk.

3.  As a kid, I had a neighbor whose name was Mr. Bus.  He drove the bus.

4.  You know how when you read a fortune cookie fortune and add "in bed" at the end, it becomes funnier?  My grandma taught me that.

5.  I sometimes dream entirely in green.

6.  I was that lucky little girl every little girl wants to be.  I had a pony.  She could open doors and was a foster mom to many kittens.  The kittens grew up very confused.

7.  There is a museum near my hometown that showcases a four-legged quail and a two-headed piglet.  This museum was a regular feature of school field trips.


And finally...

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Brian, for the nomination.  I am so honored.

Willow and Sammy are gemmies as well, but maybe you could tell them that yourself.

I Am an Accidental Grinch.

You guys.  You guys.

I almost accidentally ruined Christmas twice in a six-hour span.  No joke.

First, the infamous camera.  I could have sworn I had told my parents I wanted a camera, but I was going to tell The Squeeze too, so maybe they would want to powwow with him.  Likewise, I told The Squeeze I wanted a camera and that he should powwow with my parents.

The Squeeze gave me an awesome camera.  I was telling my folks about it, and discovered my dad had as well, going so far as to look for a specific, hard-to-lose color (he knows me so well), charging the battery, and getting an idea of how it worked.  I felt bad, my parents felt bad, I shared the badness with The Squeeze, and he felt bad, too.

It was bad.

No sooner had I stopped sniffling than it was time to go to church for the Christmas Eve service, where I was going to be singing "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" a capella from the hymnal.

Well, apparently our hymnal doesn't include that hymn.  I didn't discover this until about five minutes before the service began.  I spent the entire sermon flipping through the hymnal, looking desperately for a song I knew well enough to do without any practice a capella.  Sorry, Baby Jesus.

But, because the Jeez is a forgiving sort, it all turned out okay.

At church, well, those people have known me since before I was potty-trained, so if I was awful, they were kind enough not to say so.

 And my dad, being a very good sport and a very gracious man, returned the camera and got me a Dremel, which is one of the coolest things I have ever owned.  We had fun playing with it on Monday.  It has a lot of accessories.


Me:  What is this?

Dad:  A grinder.

Me:  What is this?

Dad:  A different grinder.

Me:  What is this?

Dad:  A sander.

Me:  This is so cool!  (Maybe I should be writing this down.)


(True:  I have asked for and been very excited over some rather unique gifts in my time.  I.e., The American Heritage Collegiate Dictionary and a new tool box.  But clearly I'm not the only one asking for brow-raising gifts:  The Squeeze's grandma asked for trouser socks.)

Oooh, and there's still a week to enter the Ugly Sweater Contest!  Email me at danathebiped@gmx.com!

Willow and Sammy are also less likely to come home with giant Ikea bags of dirty laundry than some bloggers I know.

Oh Hey, Guess What?

The Squeeze and I exchanged gifts last night, because we're each spending Christmas with our respective families.  And guess what I got?

A camera!!!

Yay!

Now you might get pictures that are only bad because of my photography skills, not because of my crappy cell phone!

Woot!

And just a reminder:  This will be my last post before Christmas--this weekend is a great opportunity to embarrass your dog by entering them in the Ugly Sweater Contest!  Email your photos to danathebiped@gmx.com.

(True:  Once, when I was living in London, I took a good picture.  It was of an architectural detail, a demon on a doorway.  I wonder if that means anything...)

Willow and Sammy are photogenic, though, aren't they?

Hops in the Right Direction: An Ounce of Prevention

In this post, I mentioned I've recently met with some people who I hoped would provide me with some new thoughts for my Hops posts, and one of them is Melissa, the wonderful, warm woman behind Zerimax, a company that sells seat belts designed especially for dogs.  The idea came to her after an awful accident in which her dog, Max, was severely injured.




I admitted to not knowing much about seat belts for dogs, and through a series of emails, we conducted an informal sort of interview (okay, we also talked about Aaron Rodger's butt, so it might have been more "chat" than "interview.")

I don't know much about doggie seat belts--can you fill me in?
Unfortunately, only about 2% of people use dog seatbelts, but there are a lot of different kinds out there for people to choose depending on their dog breed, weight, etc.  Basically the same logic that goes for people applies to dogs; we know that statistically we have  better chance of surviving an accident if we are buckled in vs. being thrown.  Also when a dog is thrown they turn into a small missile and can injure others in the car.  A 10lb dog has the force of 80lbs just going 40mph.  Overall the same rules that you would follow for a baby apply here too, so ideally you want to put them in the back seat, not in the front because of the airbags. 

The reasons that people don't use dog seatbelts vary from simply not being aware that they exist, to thinking it's an extra hassle (not convenient), and to lack of consistency (where the dog wins out) since they would rather sit on your lap.  But the reality is that with a little effort, some rescue remedy (natural Valium for dogs), and choosing a mechanism that fits with your lifestyle/car, etc. it can be done.  

It looks like your seat belt is just for small dogs--do bigger dogs have different needs?  
I developed a mechanism, the Doggie Seatbelt, that works with your small dog's existing harness (little dogs should wear harnesses vs neck collar because of their fragile bones and trechea).  It basically attaches to you car seatbelt; then you clip them in, where you would attach the leash.  Most seatbelts have the harness built in and there are two issue with that:

1. Little dogs have drastically different body shapes, so it's tough to get a good fit, Max would wiggle out of them.  

2.  If your dog already uses a harness, then you have to take their harness off or put it on top, which is not comfortable for them.  

So by being able to just use the existing harness, it makes easier which leads to more consistency.  Though, as I looked into the market place I found some great options for larger dogs that have quality assurance (i.e., testing), which I have started selling on my site as I got so many requests for a larger dog option.  I'm actually about to add the Bergen line.  

Here you can see the product options.

You mentioned that Illinois should be the sixth state to require seat belts for dogs.
Well that is a long term goal of mine, but I have just started digging into it, so a lot more to come on that.  To date I've spoke to two lobbyists and a lawyer from the SBAC, and it seems that passing this law by itself isn't likely, but it could be tagged on to something around Distracted Drivers/texting & driving, something bigger that already has momentum.  My next step is to do some research in the 5 states that have the law to find out just how they did it.   As much as it sucks to have move to laws, that process takes time (hence why this is a long term goal), and ultimately if passed it brings awareness with it.  Think about how the buckle in campaign for humans still continues to date, and it's been around for lots of years.  My short term goals are around bringing awareness of the options and  to educate people on how to to chose the right product as well as training your dog successfully.  My plans for the Spring/Summer dog events is to bring a car (instead of just doing a boring table), hopefully a cool convertible,  and I'll bring the different seatbelt options so owners and dogs can test out different seatbelts and hopefully find one that works for them.

Since he regained the use of his legs, have you had to make any adjustments to accomodate for him?  Yes, more right after the accident, but still to date, I consider him a special needs dog.  Initially we had get a new crate for him (we hadn't crated him in years), so that was mentally tough for him, since he was used to roaming the house and we also had to keep him in the crate at night (the first week I slept on the floor with him).

Now we have stairs for him up to the bed, got a bunch of rugs and carpets in our condo that was mostly hardwood floors since he still slips easily.  And not a big deal since he's little, but we have to carry him up long flights of stairs, as he can only do a few (it's a momentum thing).   

The big one was his loss of control with both #1 and #2.  When we would get home he would just start peeing everywhere.  The peeing got back in control within a few months, the #2 is still sometimes sporadic, and it's like it just pops out  - he's like what happened and looks around!    So yes I've been pooped on a lot!  (I asked her about this in person.  She shrugged.  "It's organic.") 

As you know, I am a big advocate for giving dogs with altered mobility a second chance through adoption, and I like to think of myself as a conscientious dog owner, but I had never before considered Prada's safety in the car beyond having a bed that she was trained to stay in.  Melissa's product is a common-sense solution to an issue that too many pet owners simply never think about.

Let's make 2012 a safer year for our pets to travel.

Two'fer!

Willow and Sammy are a bonded chihuahua mix pair.  Willow, who doesn't use her fourth leg, is the cuddlebug; Sammy is the spritely one.  They have room in their hearts for a very special person--do you have room in you heart for them?

Not to rub it in, but I am completely done with my holiday shopping.  Now all that remains is the actual work part:  wrapping.  I take my wrapping very seriously.  Every year, my wrapping paper coordinates.  I buy spools and spools of ribbon, and make my own bows.  (Store-bought bows?  Please.)  It can take up to three yards of ribbon to trim one package.  I also will use buttons, silk flowers, feathers, and glitter glue for trimmings.  Who doesn't love glitter glue?  Wrapping one package can take up to twenty minutes, though I have gotten quicker over the years.  (The trick lies entirely in glue dots.  Best.  Invention.  Ever.)

I am like the Martha Stewart of gift-wrapping.  Except I've never been to prison.

Of course, I've also never been wealthy--maybe there's a correlation there.


(True:  Maybe I'll post pictures of some of my packages later.  Then you can all admire the blurs and use your imagination--is that fuzzy blob a ribbon?  Or Prada the Puff?)

It's not too late!  Email your Ugly Sweater photos to me at danathebiped@gmx.com!

Rusty is dreaming of a white Christmas in a warm new home.

Speaking of bows, Rusty would look fantastic in one, especially if he were under your tree.