We Survived! (And No One Mentioned the Word "Shriveled")

The Squeeze and I generally don't spend holidays together.  My family is all in Wisconsin; his is in St. Louis.  Because of this, most of my extended family had never met The Squeeze.  Lord help him, he came up north with me this Thanksgiving.

I was a bit nervous about what my family might say to him.  My extended family--the older generation, anyway--is of the opinion that women should marry young.  I graduated from college magna cum laude, but without my MRS degree, so no good.

My Sister the Lawyer got married some years ago--four, or something.  I don't remember.  At her bridal showers, the Great-Aunt Evelyns (there are at least three of them) cornered me for an intervention.  They were concerned.  You see, I was already twenty-three, and if I didn't get married and have babies soon, my parts might shrivel up and fall out.
Anway, because of this, I was a bit nervous.  Other than my grandma holding onto The Squeeze's hand as if she were asking him to save me from drowning in the Titanic, it went swimmingly.  (Sorry, I like puns.  I am very ashamed.)

Of course, ever since The Incident of the Evelyns, I've been prepared:

"Oh, I'm waiting for either Johnny Depp or the Mother Ship--whichever comes last."



(True:  Patrick Stewart would be a more-than-acceptable alternate.  I once saw him play Antony in Antony and Cleopatra, and he sweated on me.  It was awesome.)



I would totally save your kids from the Titanic.  Especially if there were kibble in their pockets.  I'm totally a family man.  I probably deserve a treat just for saying that.

 Like Bob, I like OPK's:  Other People's Kids.  Bob, however, would probably like to adopt yours, which is why Bob is a better bet for you than I am.