Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Even the Government Thinks I'm Confusing

Of course I waited until almost the last minute to file my taxes.  Filing early comes too close to approximating competent adulthood, which is something I've never claimed.  I e-filed one night and went to bed.


And woke up to find my return had been rejected. The IRS couldn't confirm my identity--i.e., The IRS (yes, I did capitalize the article) forgot about my existence.  (I know, I didn't think that would ever happen, either.)  As it turns out, I was one of the small percentage of people affected by a glitch in their system, causing some people to be missing from their database. 

Ain't I the lucky one?

Actually, I am:  another glitch accused some filers of being deceased.

(True:  This isn't even the first time the good ole US of A has been confused about me.  When I turned 18, I got a letter informing me I was required to sign up for the draft.  Um, Uncle Sam?  I don't have the parts you think I have.)

(Also true:  I'm doing the work of two people at my job...  I may post a little more sporadically, just don't leave me, okay?)


  1. But just FAIL to file your return and THE IRS will find you in a heartbeat! Hang in there at work Dana; I'll be here. :D

    1. Thank you!!!! I'm trying hard to remember it's worth it. I finally did figure it out iwth the taxes. (And by that I mean I called my mom and started to cry and she fixed it for me because that's what moms do.)

  2. I got drafted too. The funniest thing was, it was when I was 13. I picked up the mail, saw this very official looking card with very official looking threats, and screamed, "Mom!" She calmly told me to turn the card over and on the back were four reasons you could check off for why you were not eligible for the draft.

    The reasons are -- wait for it -- 1) you're too young, 2) you're still in school, 3) you're a woman or 4) you're disabled. I checked off everything and sent it in, but the military (unlike the IRS) apparently doesn't read its mail because they sent me recruitment letters until I left for college. My favorite one was the one that promised a !FREE PAIR OF TUBE SOCKS! if I enlisted. I remember standing in the foyer, staring at it and asking out loud, "In what universe would that be a good deal?"

    Don't even get me started on the IRS.

    1. Did the tube socks have dog faces on them? Because I would totally sign up for that.

  3. I've never had the IRS question my existence, or been drafted by the military, but I did receive my "Welcome to AARP" letter when I was 26. I'm not sure which is worst.