Friday, September 14, 2012

Five Things About Me You're Gonna Wish You Didn't Know, Or, A Bipedian English Dictionary Is in the Works

I wasn't going to post today, but Noa over at Oh Noa thinks I leave mildly amusing comments on occasion so I might actually get some traffic* and ohgodthepressure.

*(Besides that from my 22 loyal followers.  I love you 22 people so much that if you were to ask, I'd clean the baked on goop from that window of your ovens.*) 

*(That is a conditional sentence.*  I will not be cleaning anyone's oven.  I'd rather just stick my head it it.)

*(It's the same reason you really need to stop saying, "If I was you.")

So, I had to think of a topic off-hand, and this is what you're getting.  If you don't like it, too damn bad.

1.  When I was very small, My Sister the Lawyer once locked my imaginary friend in the house when the family was going on a trip.  I made my parents turn around to get her.

2.  My imaginary friend's name was Ulie.  Which is actually the name of one of William Tell's cohorts back in the fifteenth century.  This probably goes beyond simple precocity.

3.  The word "precocity" is in my lexicon.

4.  I can't help but point out when people use words incorrectly or in the wrong context.  This prompts them to call me a Grammar Nazi.  Thus I am forced to elucidate them on the difference between grammar and syntax.

5.  It would probably be more accurate, to call me not a Grammar Nazi, but enlightened or perhaps perspicacious.  Of course, "brilliant" would work in a pinch.


(True:  Bonus!  I identify deeply with Amelia Peabody.)


  1. A. I didn't know bipedian was a word. (Google and Apple have the same problem. Of course, that also means that this page is currently the #1 search return.)

    B. I love you too!

    C. I identify more with Amelia Bedelia.

    D. I need a cool handle. Any ideas? (Other than Diana the Biiped?)

    1. A. "Bipedal" refers to an animal with two feet. "Bipedian" refers to me, and thus is always capitalized. Also, this is why the world NEEDS a Bipedian dictionary.

      B. It's very brave of you to say that in public.

      C. Also awesome, but with fewer parasol beatings as far as I remember.

      D. I'll put my thinking cap on.

  2. I think you should go with "perspicacious" as a self-definition. Am I suggesting that entirely because Scott Westerfeld's Leviathan series has a creature in it called a Perspicacious Loris and since reading it I always think of lorises when I hear the word perspicacious? Mayyyybe.

    (Yes. But c'mon, lorises are the cutest!)

    1. They are indeed. I would like to meet a Perspicacious Loris. Also, Scott Westerfield can have my babies whenever he wants. Also, how effective would the word "perspicacious" be on a resume? Hypothetically speaking.

      I can't help it--I love big words. I remember in college falling in love with a man who correctly used the term "Promethian." It was some elderly professor on NPR, but he'll always hold a place in my heart.

      Is that weird?

  3. Lol, the torture I used to put you through with Ulie! And you forget to mention- I didn't just lock her in the house before we left on vacation, I locked her in the bathroom upstairs and mom and dad made me go all the way up there to "let her out.". Then we had to wait for her to get in the car. Oh yes, a defining point in BOTH our lives. But I still love you! ;)

    1. You were such a meanie! What can I say? I've always been, er, quirky...

  4. I had a similiar reaction to the guy that said I was too loquacious. Of course, he's gay and not interested. Darn :(

  5. I was annoyed on Friday because some people at work were getting mad at me for "using big words", and then I came to catch up on your blog and found this entry. This is why we're friends. =) Also, I think you have the best parents ever because they actually turned around to rescue Ulie. That is love.

    I never had an imaginary friend, but I used to wish I did. I have no idea what that says about me. I was creative enough to wish for an imaginary friend, but didn't believe I was capable of actually creating one?

    1. Yeah, my parents were pretty cool about it. I think they did say once that they were pretty sure I was crazy... I think a doctor was involved at one point...

      So maybe just wishing for an imaginary friend wasn't such a bad thing.