Hops in the Right Direction: It's Normal. Or Not, But That Doesn't Make It Abnormal--Just Confusing.

My dad and I talk dogs a lot.  He and his dog, Linka, are constantly training for the rally obediance trials they do, and of course Prada and I are always working toward new body confidence goals.  Needless to say, we never run out of things to talk about, and it's great to have someone to bounce ideas off of.

That's one of the best things about having a dog--I immediately have something in common with any other dog owner I meet.

And of course there's the pleasure and satisfaction anyone who has adopted a dog has.

But having a special needs dog changes things.  Not only do I have something to talk about with any other dog lover--which, as far as I'm concerned, is anyone worth talking to--I also have had a whole new world opened up to me.

Wait.

That sounds way too sappy, even for me.

How about this?

You know, having a tripod, is like, cool and stuff, because I never really thought before about how, like, it would make me a nicer, more compassionate person.  Dude.

(Okay, let's pretend I never wrote that.  That's atrocious.)

In all seriousness, though, having a "different" pet has made me re-evaluate the importance, even the necessity, of being physically normal.  Normal is what is.  My normal, and my normal with Prada, is different than other people's normal.  That would still be the case if she had four legs.  Or if she were the size of a Pyrenees.  Or if she were blind, or petrified of squirrels.

So, I figure that makes Prada no less not-normal than any other dog.  And maybe, by extension (it's a stretch, I know), that makes me no less not-normal than any other person.

It's Really a Gift--For You and From You. So You Won't Even Have to Regift.

You know what I love even more than ice cream?  Watching TV and eating ice cream.  Of course, since I don't currently have a functioning television, all my watching happens online.  Between Netflix and the various networks' streaming video, I'm pretty well covered, and not in much danger of running out of things to watch.

A lot of my favorite shows are already discontinued or are already several seasons in--I generally prefer that, because then I can get obsessed and watch three consecutive seasons of a show in a week. 

But I might make an exception, and watch a currently-airing online show when Chic premieres.



Yes, that is a widget.  (Lookit ma, I managed a widget!)

Yes, that is a widget to a Kickstarter.

But I wouldn't recommend it if it weren't going to be AWESOME.  Seriously.  I know the producers, Sarah Hesch and Chris Snapp, and they are funny and clever as hell, and they make good art.  Do you really think I would recommend a show about pr0n on a blog my mother reads, otherwise?

Check it out.  Donate if it interests you.  Even if it doesn't, donate anyway--you can consider it a protest against the Kardashians.  And next year, you'll have something funny and clever as hell to watch instead of doing your laundry.

See?  Gift to yourself.


(True:  You know what else would make a great gift to youself?  A PossumFace Pinup calendar.)

Hops in the Right Direction: I've done nothing all week, so here is some stuff other, more productive people have done.

Yeah, I've been MIA again.  What can I say?  I've been focused on not dying.  I even took a sick day from work, so you know it's serious.

Anyway, while I've been snoring/snotting/sniffling on everything, the Internet has been hard at work, coming up with things for me to post.



There is no reason for me to post that image other than it cracks me up.

I'm sorry.  This is going to be an odd post.  I'm all hopped up on cold medicine.

As long as I'm posting funny shtuff, lookit this!

Via

What can I say?  It cracked me up.

And this one is seasonally appropriate!

Via

But  here is a photo/link that is more seriously awesome:

We all know that dogs with altered mobility are the best.  And we know that therapy dogs are also the best.  (Shut up.  I know that doesn't make sense.  Roll with me here, yeah?  <--That's a joke.  You'll get it in a minute.)  Well, therapy dogs with altered mobility are the bestest.

Via

I think I had something else to say, but I forgot.


(True:  Don't forget your Possum Pinups calendar!)

Five Things About Me You're Gonna Wish You Didn't Know, Or, A Bipedian English Dictionary Is in the Works

I wasn't going to post today, but Noa over at Oh Noa thinks I leave mildly amusing comments on occasion so I might actually get some traffic* and ohgodthepressure.

*(Besides that from my 22 loyal followers.  I love you 22 people so much that if you were to ask, I'd clean the baked on goop from that window of your ovens.*) 

*(That is a conditional sentence.*  I will not be cleaning anyone's oven.  I'd rather just stick my head it it.)

*(It's the same reason you really need to stop saying, "If I was you.")


So, I had to think of a topic off-hand, and this is what you're getting.  If you don't like it, too damn bad.

1.  When I was very small, My Sister the Lawyer once locked my imaginary friend in the house when the family was going on a trip.  I made my parents turn around to get her.

2.  My imaginary friend's name was Ulie.  Which is actually the name of one of William Tell's cohorts back in the fifteenth century.  This probably goes beyond simple precocity.

3.  The word "precocity" is in my lexicon.

4.  I can't help but point out when people use words incorrectly or in the wrong context.  This prompts them to call me a Grammar Nazi.  Thus I am forced to elucidate them on the difference between grammar and syntax.

5.  It would probably be more accurate, to call me not a Grammar Nazi, but enlightened or perhaps perspicacious.  Of course, "brilliant" would work in a pinch.

Via

(True:  Bonus!  I identify deeply with Amelia Peabody.)

It's Friday--Your Boss Definitely Probably Won't Mind You Wasting a Couple of Hours

I don't know if you're realized this yet, but there are some pretty neat things on this Internet of ours.

First, Bubbe sent me this awesome and hilarious video, which makes me feel a little better about myself because, well, I need a wall to balance against when I try anything aerobic, too.

You may have already heard about the police officer in Baltimore, who, when called out to deal with a vicious pit pull, gave the dog water, cuddles, and--not very long after--a forever home.  Seriously, how cool is this guy?!

Read the story here.

Oooh, have you seen DogShaming yet on tumblr?  It's moving quickly to become one of my favorite dog blogs.  Because, you know, if you have a dog, they do some crazy/gross/obnoxious things, and a sense of humor about it is absolutely essential...

Now, shocking as it is, the Internet is not entirely about dogs.  I know, it's a bit of a disappointment to me, too.  But we all need to expand our worlds sometimes, and there's actually some neat non-dog stuff out there, too.

Like this.  It's a huge compiliation of do-it-yourself costumes, including this absolutely amazing Weeping Angel costume:

Holy crap, you guys.

And this Inspector Gadget:

The head fan works!

But, sick as my sense of humor is, this one is probably my favorite.

Would someone lend me their baby?  Please?

And finally, a treasure hunt just for you...

1.  Go to Google.  (I'd recommend opening it in another tab, or you won't be able to follow the rest of the directions.

2.  Type "Where is Chuck Norris".  Search.

3.  Click on the first option.

4.  Be astounded.  Or at least mildly entertained.  You know, whatever.



So tell me, faithful followers (or lurkers, or casual passers-by--yes, I know "passers-by" doesn't sound right, but it is) what else is out in the World Wide Web that I need to know about?


(True:  A thing that picks other things up is properly called a "picker-up," not a "picker-upper."  Someone needs to travel back to 1992 and inform Bounty, stat.  Well, maybe not stat, since time travel is involved.  Ninety-two can probably wait till tomorrow.)



(Also true:  I am sorry if you've read all this way and were hoping for something entertaining.  Actually, I'm sorry for this whole post.  I'm pretty sure this is one I'll look back at in a year and think, what was I smoking that day?  Except I know the answer will be nothing, because I've never smoked anything but hookah that one time in college and it gave me a headache so I did it five more times and then never again.  I don't think it counts as smoking, while I'm going up or down the stairs in my building, occasionally having to breathe the miasma of whatever my former downstairs neighbors, ahem, enjoyed.  I don't mean cupcakes, sadly.)

I'm like a superhero. Only without the alter-ego. Or the spandex. Or the powers. Or the thigh-high boots. Forget it. I'm just awesome, okay?

Things I accomplished yesterday:

• Plowed through a mountain of tasks at work while actually managing to look semi-professional.
• Blogged like a boss.
• Walked to the supermarket, thereby reducing my carbon footprint.
• Did laundry and cooked dinner (with extra for freezing) and washed dishes, like a motherfucking domestic goddess.
• Walked the dog, training for polite sitting at stops.
• Ate dinner--with a real plate and fork.
• Socialized:  Beer, dart league, cool people.  Like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City.  But with beer, dart league, and cool people.
• Read fifty pages of a new book, edifying myself on manner subtleties of the 1860s.

Or, in other words I rocked the shit out of yesterday in all matters professional, domestic, social, and intellectual. Carpe that diem, Horace.

Via

BOOM.


(True:  Of course, the rest of the phrase, quam minimum credula postero, means "putting as little trust as possible in the future", so no promises that today has been anywhere near as efficient...)