I don't know about you, dear reader. I worry about you.
Almost every day, I check what search terms bring traffic to this blog. Frequently it's something like "sad dog" or "possum face" or "bees knees" or "hunger games nazi germany."
Okay. I see where those are coming from. I even see what posts those search terms would bring you to.
But every once in a while I get an outlier.
To the person who looked for "hairy ferrets": Are there hairless ferrets? Or are you trying to shave your ferret? That sounds worrisome. And wiggly.
To the person who came here looking for "hot chick with her mouth open": What you're looking for is called porn. This place called the internet is the land of plenty when it comes to porn, so I'm not really certain why you would choose to come to my small, self-depricating blog. Unless you're talking about me in the summer, when my apartment is 110 degrees and I'm panting in an effort not to expire and sweating like a sweaty thing. In which case you should know I don't post photos of myself. And you're still a perv.
To the person who searched for "dear jesus loves everybody's": Please finish that sentence. Really. Come back and let me know in the comments. I'd really like to know. You put in the apostrophe, so it can't be a typo. Dear Jesus loves everybody's what?
(True: I really hope some of these folks stick around and interesting content, even if it's not what they're looking for. I try to be open-minded like that. And to all you weird seach term-ers: I wish you well and hope you find what you're looking for. Just not here. Because that shit's just bizarre.)