Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Mr. Sandman, Bring Me a Dream. Not a Fucking Mess, You Asshole.

I live on the top floor of my building.  Heat rises.  So in the summer, my apartment gets really hot--generally, whatever the temperature is outside, it's ten to fifteen degrees warmer in my home.  (Thank god for my window AC--that keeps it about the same temp as outside.)  And in the winter, all the massive amounts of heat pumped out by our cast-iron registers--which is either on or off for the entire building--creeps up to my apartment.

I sleep with the windows open.

But something that happened last week is making me rethink the wisdom of that.  Because apparently, even on the third floor, weird shit can get in your windows.

Like sand.  I woke up one morning last week with a significant amount (maybe a cup or a cup and a half) of motherfucking sand all over the windowsills and nearby floor. 

How does that even happen?!


(True:  I just referenced The Chordettes in this post title.  I am officially old.)

6 comments:

  1. I thought you knew better than touch the exhibits at the museum...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ersxqFwDkWA

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  2. I LOVE that song! As for the sand - wind can carry it pretty far. Think sand storm (see Gumball Rally or any movie set in a desert).

    I wish you were able to keep cooler; I HATE the heat.

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    1. I don't mind the heat, though it does get pretty oppressive after 100 degrees. I mostly hang out right in front of the air conditioner, though. It's a good excuse to stay in bed all the time. :)

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  3. So your options are to die in your sleep because of the heat, or see your apartment slowly get buried in sand? I'd leave the windows open. You can keep collecting the sand and put it in a little zen garden. Get some pretty rocks and a tiny rake. Keep it on your coffee table or your desk at work.

    Wait. Those things are stupid. Forget it. Just let it pile up until your place looks like Tatooine. Then, you can close the windows once in a while and let the temperature rise until it even FEELS like Tatooine in there. Put Prada in a Jawa costume. It would be a geek's paradise, an authentic Star Wars experience. You could probably even charge for admission. Best apartment ever. (How do you feel about putting your hair in two buns and wearing a shapeless white gown?)

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    1. I like it. Though I might take a bit of sand for that zen garden. I need a zen garden. Or just some zen in my life.

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