Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Home Decorating is a Lie.

I like the idea of decorating my place and living in a space that is beautiful and functional.

This space is a myth.

Browsing, a site I very much enjoy and admire, with its gorgeous photos and hope-inspring tips, I have stumbled across some photos that make me realize that perhaps, there is a solution, and a beautiful living environment can be mine.

Found here.
Look at how pretty that is, and everything you need to leave the house is right there for you.  Now I just need to pick a color, buy a new outdoor wardrobe in that monochromatic theme, and never wear anything else.  Also, the cat will totally pee in that plant, and the dirty Chicago snow is going to smear all over those pretty tiles without a serious heavy duty rug there.  The bench?  It's going to be heaped with junk mail and whatever I happen to have gotten sick of holding as I walk past.  And be prepared for the fact that there is going to be at the very least ten pairs of shoes laying haphazardly on the floor, waiting to trip the unsuspecting.

Oh, what about this kitchen? 

Found here.

This might work.  After all, I too, have a lot of shelves.  However, I'm going to need dishes that actually match, and for those dishes to actually make it to their homes before before being used again.  That will probably be a shock for them, having never left the dish drainer before.  Also, I don't know if boxes of mac and cheese and Hamburger Helper and cans of condenced cream of chicken soup are going to look as elegant in those jars.  Although those top shelves do look like an amazing places to store things I want to forget I own until I need to move again and then have to deduct what it is that might be living under the three inches of dust up there.
No, really.  Does anyone really live this way, with their homes looking like department store tableaus?  Because frankly, if I'm not going to be seriously depressed, I need to believe in homes like this the same way I believe in the tooth fairy--if I'm not getting paid to keep it up, it's just not worth it.

(True:  I once bought a book on organizing your home, the friend I was with laughed at me.)

Coco doesn't mind clutter, as long as there is space on your lap.


  1. I believe that these homes are ALL myths. I spent over a decade on the farm and when we moved last year I found boxes I'd never unpacked from our move TO the farm! Not that I had anywhere to put that crap. My kitchen is so small I have pans stacked on the floor in the dining room damn it! But can I get Hubs to downsize any of our stuff? Hell no. I would love to be more organized. Ain't gonna happen in this lifetime. But I guess I'm in good company! :)

    1. If someone invited me to their house, and I walked in to a place that looked like those photos, I'd be live, "Oh, this is nice. But where do you LIVE?"

      By the way, I have a solution for the pots and pans. Eat out all the time. Then you wouldn't need any dishes at all. :)