They say that insanity is repeating an action and expecting different results. I don't know who "they" are--probably the people carrying the fashionably long-sleeved white coat. I think they're following me.
But, it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a woman in possession of a full-time job must be in want of a caffeinated beverage. Which is to say, don't even bother talking to me before I've started my first can on Mt. Dew--any appearances of consciousness are false.
Scene: this morning, first thing, at work. The soda machine informed me that the Mt. Dew was sold out. This was bad, but not a catastrophe, because I can settle for a Coke in a pinch. BUT, the machine spat out my dollar, same way it did for the Mt. Dew.
This was a problem. If there is no Mt. Dew, and there is no Coke, my only caffeinated option is Dr. Pepper, and twenty-one flavors is just too many for me.
It would have been better than nothing--but there was nothing. So, what was I supposed to drink? Orange juice? Get out of here. This was a catastrophe! Had my life really come to this? In desperation, I tried each of the caffeinated options a bunch more times, and kicked the machine for good measure. (There may have been some chest beating and hair-pulling as well.)
Finally, the light came on--a literal light. The indicator light for "exact change only," to be exact.
Proof positive that acting crazy is not always the same as being crazy.
Update: I wrote this on Monday. As of 12:08 pm today, we really are out of Mt. Dew, Coke, and Dr. Pepper. I'm trying unsuccessfully to drown my tears in a caffeine-free root beer.
(True: SHUT UP, PEANUT GALLERY!)