Maybe I'm just an ungrateful bitch. Or maybe contrived sentiment just makes me want to puke.
There are, however, some things I am very happy to have:
- Caffeine, which gets me through most days murder-charge-free.
- My microwave, which is my second favorite enabler.
- My mother's pity for me and my lack of cooking skills. (I.e., leftovers.)
- Netflix, my first favorite enabler.
- My Sister the Lawyer not killing me when my phone's evil alter ego answered her calls seven consecutive times while simultaneously scrolling through every option and screen the phone has to offer--all while on key lock in my purse.
- And the fact that you read this blog even though I'm mental.
(True: In the above poem, there really should be a semicolon, not a comma.)