Yesterday I scored two Lifesavers from HR. Having a bit of a sweet-tooth as I do, I was a bit excited. And so, when I ran into coworker M, I waved the candies in his direction. And okay, maybe I was kind of exuberant about it.
But I swear I never meant for one of the candies to be hurled toward M's face, narrowly missing and exploding against the wall, scattering shard of the sweetest shrapnel all over the hallway.
The worst part is, the one that didn't explode/nearly brain my coworker? Yeah, it was watermelon-flavored. And if that isn't the saddest story you've ever heard, I just don't want to live in this world anymore.
(True: The best Lifesaver flavor is, without a doubt, Butter Rum. More candy should be booze-flavored and workplace-friendly. But I guess pineapple is pretty good, too.)