I usually take Bottom Street to Right Street to Middle Street to work. I left Walmart and turned left, hoping to take Middle Street all the way there. There was a huge stinkin' cemetary of FML in the way. Streets abruptly stopped, then picked up again on the other side of the cemetary. I ended up walking all the way to Top Street, and turning by the Forest Preserve. There was no sidewalk along side the Forest Preserve. I bushwhacked through the knee-high brush. Mind you, it was already 87 degrees and humid.
Finally fighting my way out of the jungle/Forest Preserve, I paused a moment to catch a breath. I was nowhere near a bus stop, but a bus heading my direction stopped out of pity because I was so bedraggled. I paid my fare. I should have gotten off in two stops, but the heat had gone to my head, so I just kept going. Suddenly, we were passing over Right Street, where I needed to be. I got off at the next stop, but pedestrians weren't allowed back over the overpass, and you really just couldn't get there from here.
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| Green is the route I should have taken. Purple is the path I took walking, with teal showing my ill-fated bus trip. |
"I just saw you walk past my office window. Don't you normally drive?"
"Yes. Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
"Car trouble?"
"You have no idea."
"I brought bagels!"
(True: I usually have a pretty decent sense of direction, if you can believe it. Also: instead of walking 2.5 miles, my route took me nearly 4. My map is not to scale.)
| Dude, Biped. You should have brought me. I'd have led you courageously through the jungle and told you where to find Timmy in the well. |
Bob probably would have handled the whole thing better than I did. He loves walks and rolling in the grass--I could have just had him roll a path through the Forest Preserve for me. And kids and adults alike love him, so he could have distracted everyone while I steamed, and tried not to have a heat stroke.

"I brought bagels!"
ReplyDeleteI just laughed out loud in the school library. Thanks for that.
That bagel was probably the sole reason I didn't throttle everyone who so much as looked at me that day. I was not a happy camper.
ReplyDeleteThat really sounds like something that would happen to me. Actually, it has. Many times. Apparently, a sense of direction was not standard and my parents didn't opt for one for me when I was born. Cheapskates. By the way, I really wish I didn't rent, because I love Bob. I would totally take him if I wouldn't be evicted for having him. :(
ReplyDeleteMy sense of direction really isn't so bad, as long as I can actually get there from here. But when I do get lost, I get lost epically. I once went to the wrong state for a job interview. Yeah, really.
ReplyDeleteI know about Bob. I've sort of got a dog crush on him, myself. Hopefully he finds a good home soon!