Scene: Home from college for the summer, I visit my best friend; who I will call Seven. (Story to follow.) We are in his backyard with several other friends, all of us jumping about on Seven's giant trampoline.
Me: Ow! Ow! Seven, you stepped on me!
Seven: Oh, whoops.
Me: Everybody, stop jumping for a minute; I need to get off the trampoline.
Seven: Are you okay?
Me: I'll be fine. I just need to walk it off.
(I walk a few steps.)
Me: Oh my god. Half my foot just shifted to the left. I think I just broke my foot.
Seven: Well, that's not good.
Seven's Mom (from the back door): Dana? You have a phone call.
Me: On your home phone? Is it my parents?
Seven's Mom: No. (She hands me the phone.)
Me (on the phone): Hello?
Voice: Hey. It's your ex-boyfriend you haven't heard from in over a year, who treated you like crap to the point of being run from town by your friends and family. Even your teachers helped. How are you?
Me: Why are you calling me? Why are you calling me here?! Never mind, I just broke my foot. I need to go to the emergency room now.
Author's Note: Voice didn't really say all that. He just said something like, "Uh, hey, it's, like, me. How are you?" But that doesn't have the same impact. Too many commas.
(True: I once went out with a guy who was a priest, and then a soldier, and then an alcoholic. One of those that go to college and party for the next seven years. I'm short. He was four inches shorter. I have a colorful dating history.)