Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Everybody Should Have One - Or Seven

In case you've lost your calendar or are just resurfacing from a several week-long WoW marathon, tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  That makes this my semi-obligatory "what I'm thankful for" post, so I'm just going to pause my attempts to be amusing for a bit.

Most women have two men in their lives:  their dad, and their squeeze.  (Happy birthday, Dad!)  I've got those, and they are pretty much the shit.  I am lucky enough to have a third man in my life as well:  my best friend, Seven.  I said once before I'd explain why I call him that.  So, without further ado:

Everbody Should Have One - Or Seven

I call this a big pile o' awesome.

The story is called "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."  It's notably not called "Snow White's Evil Step-Mother Tries to Kill Her A Lot" or "Prince Charming Mauls Snow White in Her Sleep, the Perv."  Nope, it's the dwarves who snag a title role.

Now, I'm not knocking Prince Charming (much).  He does save her at the end, which is sort of important.  And, they live happily ever after, which is nothing to sneer at.*  However, the Seven Dwarves save her an awful lot first.  They are the ones who cut off her killing underwear and make her stop combing her hair with poison.  They have undoubtedly had Snow White snot all over them while she's crying over some sappy movie.  They're friends, sure--but more than that, they are family.

So you don't really think Snow White really rode off with Prince Charming into the sunset and dumped the dwarves, do you?


And that's why I call my best friend Seven.**

*Yes, I know I started that sentence with a concuntion and ended it with a preposition.  I have a fancy degree saying I know exactly what rules I'm breaking.
**I make no claims to being princessy, myself.  Prissy would probably be as close as I'm getting.

(True:  I have a very deep resentment towards the movie When Harry Met Sally.)

Have some Noodles with your turkey!


  1. I love the story of Seven's name! Happy Thanksgiving Dana!

  2. I just want to question something here. Are you sure that's why the dwarfs were after her underwear? Cause anytime I'm removed or loosened anyone's underwear was for very different reasons.

    Now I've unintentionally insinuated that Seven is attempting to molest you anytime he helps you out. I'm just going to quit now.

  3. Well, Christine, I can't say that Spanx and sex often jam themselves (love handles into a girdle--sorry, they're called "shapers" now) into the same thought for me.

    I just pictured Dopey in Spanx. I feel weird now.

    Don't worry, though. Seven is very hard to offend. I've punched him accidentally-on-purpose enough to know.

  4. And it's probably safe to say that to Seven, I'm like a pine tree. Pine trees have gender, but they aren't exactly flashing bystanders for Mardi Gras beads.

  5. Woah. The Fairest of Them All had some cushion on her tush..ion.. and other places.

    And clearly, you're not thinking of the right kind of Spanx! ;) (I actually have no idea what that really means.)

    I also love that you compare yourself to a coniferous.

    I'm done now.

  6. Now I have a new goal: to be a Seven to my friends