Friday, August 31, 2012

Children hate Pinterest, Too

Proof positive:

They're lambs, if you didn't guess.  (I know I didn't.)  Don't they look happy?  No?  Well, that's because they wanted to be superheroes and/or princesses, and you are the terrible parent who make them look like a floppy-eared tampon.

The problem here isn't the stains.  The problem here is that you were hopped up on boxwine instead of supervising your child.

The tag for this is, "20 Questions to ask your children when you're putting them to bed to help develop your relationship."  NO.  NONONONONONONONONO.  I'm sorry to have to break it to you, but it is really never okay to make this kind of references when talking about children.

This kid lives in a bubble.  Not because he has any terrible allergies and will fall into a coma if he breathes air that hasn't been sucked dry by an industrial-grade air purifier, but because he's dressed too nicely to be allowed to play.  And he's only got a box, a purse, and an antique telephone, anyway. 

And just in case you were wondering?  Putting your child in shoes with no socks when it's cold enough to require a hat and scarf doesn't make you a cool parent.  It makes you an asshole with a be-blister-footed child.  Asshole.

(True:  These are all from one page of Pinterest.  Because it's lush with crap.)



  1. This is hilarious. I reluctantly joined Pinterest because a craft-crazed friend of mine kept pestering me to "look at her pins." So I did. She does a lot of knitting, which frightens me because she's only in her late 40's and my mom raised me to think sewing and knitting is what little old ladies down the street did.

    I don't do much with Pinterest - I swear! But I did find some great pages with recipes for foods for special diets, and since the son and I both have lots of allergies, that was pretty cool.

    But I try to avoid the cutesy kitties and puppies and toddlers pages there. Also the "how to plan a perfect wedding" pages. Also the pages with deep, spiritual comments appended to multi-colored sunsets.

    So I guess, basically, I try to avoid everything there but the food, shoes and hot-looking guys. Kind of like real life.

    1. Your real life sounds so much better than mine...

  2. I'm being sued for copyright infringement for a photograph I pinned. I thought that crediting the author and clearly indicating "no copyright intended" on my profile was enough.

    According to my adorable lawyer, crediting doesn't take away that I infringed on the guy's copyright and now he's helping negotiate to knock a few grands off the settlement. He's a sweetheart.

    We briefly discussed going to court to claim a fair use defense, but he was sure that would (1) cost me more than settling and (2) that I would almost certainly lose and have to pay the photographer's legal fees.

    Live and learn!

    All my pinboards have been deleted. No more Pinterest for me.