Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Pinterest Makes Me Hate Everybody

WRONG.  Let's try this again:

  • Goodmorning = Good morning.  You clearly are not going for a concise, 140 space text here.  Get it right.
  • i = I.  We humans are ego-centric, and the first-person subjective pronoun is capitalized, which I learned in first grade.  I'm so sorry you didn't.
  • Makeup = Cosmetics.  Making up is what you do naked after an argument.
  • inseperable = incorrect.  Spell shit correctly.
  • bestfriend = best friend.  You are still two separate (See what I did there) people.  You can be close, but your cells are not physically bound together.  The term "best friend" works the same way.
  • your = you're not intelligent enough to use second-person pronouns correctly.
  • people are like "your stillll together = fuck you in so many ways.  If someone is saying something, and you are using a tag such as "they say" or, less-intelligently, "people are like," then use use a comma to separate (See what I did there?) the tag and what is being said.  Just putting in quotation marks implies irony or a lack of truth.  Apparently, people are implying that you as a couple are not, in fact, "stillll together," or are only "stillll together" in a technical (but not a practical) sense.  Also, I don't know of a single word in the English language that uses four consecutive Ls.
The moral:  If you are trying to impress someone, do try not to look illiterate.

These are gift boxes--made from toilet paper rolls.  Because nothing says, "I'm a shitty friend," like giving a gift in a box that's been hanging next to your toilet for a week.  (Except maybe using a tampon box instead.  But that says more, "I'm a bloody awful friend," to me, and less, "I'm a shitty friend."

Yeah.  Fuck you, too.

I'm sure she'll love that when she grows up and becomes the man she always felt she was meant to be and gets married in a tux.  Also, who the hell is supposed to do that much planning? 

Ah, yes, the ubiquitous hipster version of the "Hang in there!" kitten motivational poster.  Shoot me now.

And finally:
  • Braids and other hair styles that are touted to be "easy."
  • Reasons to be fit.
  • Recipes with six ingredients I've never even heard of requiring a kitchen mixer technical know-how equivalent to running the International Space Station.
  • Bridal boards.
  • Outfits.
  • Anything DIY.
Are you on Pinterest?  Do you also have a love/hate relationship?

(True:  You can find me on Pinterest here.)



  1. This made me laugh so hard! I started a pinterest when I was planning my sister's baby shower and was appalled when I realized it was linked to facebook. I have since figured out how to not do that, but I wish the whole thing could just be private, and that it didn't show me other people's stuff unless I specifically searched for it. I do love it as a place to keep resources instead of having an enormous bookmark list, but I wish it actually was the personal bulletin board it claims to be. Seems like most people use it to show off or play Barbies as grown-ups.

    And, I optimistically added a board with exercise plans for when I moved and had access to an elliptical machine. I have moved, and the only board I use regularly is the cooking one, because I LOVE to eat. Haven't touched the exercise one since I made it, so I guess it exists just to taunt me now.

  2. And that was a really really long post. Sorry. I had no idea I had so much to say about pinterest.

    1. It's a passionate topic, right up there with environmental change and religion.

      I once almost pinned a link to "lazy excercising," but then I realized it still required you to sometimes move, so I thought better of it.

    2. Haha, what is "lazy exercising"? Made me think of those things you sometimes see on infomercials that deliver electric shocks to your muscles to make them contract while you sit and watch tv or whatever.

    3. I'm pretty sure it was like, "do twenty lunges while you wait for your ramen to finish nuking." But I don't excercise for two very good reasons: it sucks and I hate it.

  3. Literally brought a smirk to my mug. Kudos to you, D.

  4. Still reading back posts from my absence earlier. Loved this! I'm not on Pinterest but I may have to join just so I can snark! And look at what great blog fodder it makes!

    1. Confession: It's my go-to when my brain is fried.