Friday, January 25, 2013

Fast Times at a School That Would Probably Not Prefer to Be Associated With This Blog

A good friend of mine from high school is having a baby in the not-too-distant future (ha, what else could it be?  Twenty years?), and it's got me remembering stuff.  So, join me on a walk down memory lane--if you dare.

I went to private high school.  Most of the students boarded, but there were a few of us "day students" who lived close enough to not have to live on campus.  We had our own lounge, and off that lounge was a small glass room nicknamed "the cubicle," which was just down the hall from the locker rooms assigned to the day students.  The cubicle had enough room for about four people comfortably, but we usually crammed about eight in there.  That's the boring part.

The interesting stuff is what we witnessed, safe on our side of the glass.  We saw break ups, make-ups, and make-outs.  We saw drama on a level that just isn't possible anywhere but a high school where most of the students live together (with teachers!) with no access to cars.

On one memorable occasion, however, the drama breached our safety glass.

A teacher stormed down the hall, coming from the boys' locker room, and slammed open the cubicle door.

"Who has been misusing their genitalia?!"

I honestly don't recall a single other time when all of us were simultaneously silent.  Cue astonishment and absolute confusion.

Eventually we figured it out:  someone in the boy's room missed the urinal.  Which was disgusting, but not nearly as bad as we had originally assumed.  Even better, none of us were guilty of the transgression--not this one, anyway.

But I do remember thinking, This is high school.  Those of us who aren't wish we were.

(True:  It was a special sort of high school I went to.  After I graduated and was legal to drink, I got conned into playing poker with my old high school teachers.  They got me drunk and won away all my money.  But I got an A for effort.)


  1. I guess my thought is this: We got a half-Neely (maybe a full Neely, I don't remember, nor do I now if the spelling is correct) for a sign being held up during some sort of televised wrestling thing, all because well, some parent might see the kid (and sign) and think, let me send my kid to that school... Maybe some parent might stumble across your blog and decide that since you turned out well, their kid should go there? No clue. I do know that I've suggested that particular school to three different sets of parents for 5 kids (and 5 different reasons each) and none of them have gone there, though one might, who knows?

    1. This is the same school that didn't let me write my own valedictory letter for the Greetings. Mr. Green did, but fortunately I was allowed to edit it, because his spelling and grammar were terrible. Lots of great memories, but I don't think they'd want my recommendation even if I gave it. :)

    2. Wait, what?! I guess I didn't know (or remember, hmm, not sure which). Well, I have suggested it to parents, but I always give the whole list, pros and cons, that way nobody can come and rant at me later.

    3. It's not something I really let out at the time. And I can't argue that I got a great education and met lots of cool people, teachers and students both. Sometimes, I think that because my dad worked there, and I worked there, and I half grew up there, I just saw too much "behind the scenes" stuff.

  2. Misusing their genitalia, what a weird way to phrase the situation! That would have rendered me dumbstruck as well

    1. And I've got to say, it takes a lot to render me dumbstruck.