- It doesn't count if it doesn't set off the fire alarm.
- I've been drinking just one Mt. Dew for three days now, and I have yet to kill anyone. Someone give me a ribbon. Quick now, before I fall asleep.
- I indulged in a bit too much holiday cheer, and I'm going to Mexico this spring. Crap.
- That's why I'm cutting back the Mt. Dew.
- This might be the worst diet ever.
- Stink the Cat keeps trying to eat all the expensive dog food. Isn't it dogs that are supposed to eat everything? One more example of how my life is totally upside down.
- Acai juice and my sleepy owl hat will cure just about anything.
- Bankers do not appreciate sleepy owl hats.
- Fictitious blue PVC corsets never stop being funny.
This is my normal.
(True: But seriously, why is that whenever I make a pizza, the fire alarm goes off, but it doesn't when I set an actual fire? I feel that might be a design flaw.)