Yesterday I got my Girl Scout cookies. (Don't tell The Squeeze; I don't want to share.) On the box, there are photos of girls doing wholesome, morale- and character-building activities, and that seriously freaks me out. Dude. I'm trying to have some nice, healthy, bingejunkeating here. Don't go pushing your wholesomeness in my face. I just want to eat my cookies and guilt in peace. You know what would help? Maybe a picture of something as sneaky as I feel, like a ferret or something. Or a spy. Or a ninja!
Dear GSA: Please put photos of ninjas on your cookie boxes. Ninjas are strong and can stand up for what they believe in by kicking ass. Also, they help overcome preconcieved stereotypes of what it is to be female, what with having to wear lots of makeup and be totally skinny and also really tiny skirts. Ninjas wear masks. You can't even tell what gender a ninja is when they are attacking you, though that might be because either they are invisible or because you are already unconscious, but still.
Sincerely: Dana the Biped
P.S. A ferret-ninja would be okay, too. Or a duck. Everybody likes ducks.
Bud would totally let you have all the Thin Mints.