Monday, December 12, 2011

Defensive Karaoke Part Two: Yes, This Really Happened

Being a KJ can be hazardous.  You might be shocked into muteness.

For example, a guy is singing "Piano Man," and he's actually not half bad.  You're looking around to see if the next person on your queue is around or has gone out for a smoke.  Looking back at the person singing, you realize that his pants are around his skinny hipster ankles.

I took several education courses in college.  I spent an entire day learning how to give the Evil Teacher Eye, so that naughty kids take you seriously and stop whatever irritating thing they are doing.  I use this lesson regularly in karaoke, but this is one of the few times I had to accompany it with words.

"You need to put your pants on right now.  Right now.  Or you can leave without them."

Apparently, I made this threat sound so scary, that poor skinny kid apologized to me not once, not twice, but four times over the course of the night, and has never shown his face or his boxer briefs at the bar again.

(True:  I will wear pants or skirts or dresses, but I do not wear shorts.  Ever.  I don't know why.)

Nikita's got her eyes closed because she doesn't want to see those skinny white legs, either. But she would take some snuggles if you have any handy.


  1. I know, geez. Not too many of them at the bar where I work, though. It's got too much wood paneling, no imported beer, and allows dogs. My kind of place. :D