Tuesday, December 27, 2011

I Am an Accidental Grinch.

You guys.  You guys.

I almost accidentally ruined Christmas twice in a six-hour span.  No joke.

First, the infamous camera.  I could have sworn I had told my parents I wanted a camera, but I was going to tell The Squeeze too, so maybe they would want to powwow with him.  Likewise, I told The Squeeze I wanted a camera and that he should powwow with my parents.

The Squeeze gave me an awesome camera.  I was telling my folks about it, and discovered my dad had as well, going so far as to look for a specific, hard-to-lose color (he knows me so well), charging the battery, and getting an idea of how it worked.  I felt bad, my parents felt bad, I shared the badness with The Squeeze, and he felt bad, too.

It was bad.

No sooner had I stopped sniffling than it was time to go to church for the Christmas Eve service, where I was going to be singing "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" a capella from the hymnal.

Well, apparently our hymnal doesn't include that hymn.  I didn't discover this until about five minutes before the service began.  I spent the entire sermon flipping through the hymnal, looking desperately for a song I knew well enough to do without any practice a capella.  Sorry, Baby Jesus.

But, because the Jeez is a forgiving sort, it all turned out okay.

At church, well, those people have known me since before I was potty-trained, so if I was awful, they were kind enough not to say so.

 And my dad, being a very good sport and a very gracious man, returned the camera and got me a Dremel, which is one of the coolest things I have ever owned.  We had fun playing with it on Monday.  It has a lot of accessories.

Me:  What is this?

Dad:  A grinder.

Me:  What is this?

Dad:  A different grinder.

Me:  What is this?

Dad:  A sander.

Me:  This is so cool!  (Maybe I should be writing this down.)

(True:  I have asked for and been very excited over some rather unique gifts in my time.  I.e., The American Heritage Collegiate Dictionary and a new tool box.  But clearly I'm not the only one asking for brow-raising gifts:  The Squeeze's grandma asked for trouser socks.)

Oooh, and there's still a week to enter the Ugly Sweater ContestEmail me at danathebiped@gmx.com!

Willow and Sammy are also less likely to come home with giant Ikea bags of dirty laundry than some bloggers I know.


  1. 1) I guess a camera isn't something you really need two of. If shoes are a 10 (for most people) on the needing-two scale, and an ironing board is a 1, the camera ranks about 6, so it was nice of your dad to exchange it. The Dremel is a really great hobby tool.

    2) I take it the congregation would not have been impressed with a rendition that starts, "God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing hmm hmm hmmm...," continues with some humming and mumbling for a few lines, and then goes to "tidings of comfort and joy!" Those are the lines I can remember, though you might know more?

    3) I just nominated you for a Versatile Blogger Award! If you're not sure what that means, look here:


  2. 1. My dad is a super nice guy, and also a very talented photographer. I'm hoping he will give me some pointers with the camera.

    2. I think I know the first verse fairly well, but I get terrible nerves and can't depend on my memory. If I shook any harder, I'd probably fall over.

    3. Thank you so much! I am so flattered!