According to the much-hyped Mayan calendar, the world will end on 12/21/2012, and that knowledge has influenced my New Year's Resolutions.
- Eat whatever. But don't gain too much weight, because I still want to be a fairly svelte specimen when an alien species unearths my corpse in a few millenia from the Vesuvius-style ruins.
- Drink more beer. Alcohol makes a great preservative.
- Get a tattoo for identification purposes.
- Take up running, and enroll in a wilderness survival course. I may as well give myself a sporting chance.
- Continue doing laundry semi-regularly. Because who wants to die in dirty underpants?
Oh, yeah, and it's not too late! Email your pet's Ugly Sweater Photos to email@example.com, and you might win a $10 pet store gift card!!! (To be honest, your likelihood at this point of winning is almost certain...)
(True: The 12/21 date may actually be a "give-or-take-60-days" appointment, which makes waiting for the cable guy seem pretty reasonable.)
Trapper has already proved he is ready to survive anything, and will come out the other side tail wagging.