Friday, December 30, 2011

Goodbye, this last year. Hello, Earth's Last Year.

Well folks, this is my last post of 2011.

According to the much-hyped Mayan calendar, the world will end on 12/21/2012, and that knowledge has influenced my New Year's Resolutions.

  • Eat whatever.  But don't gain too much weight, because I still want to be a fairly svelte specimen when an alien species unearths my corpse in a few millenia from the Vesuvius-style ruins.
  • Drink more beer.  Alcohol makes a great preservative.
  • Get a tattoo for identification purposes.
  • Take up running, and enroll in a wilderness survival course.  I may as well give myself a sporting chance.
  • Continue doing laundry semi-regularly.  Because who wants to die in dirty underpants?
So, folks, what'll it be?  Geothermal flares?  Volcanic eruptions?  Asteroids?  Pestilence?  Robots?  And what, if anything, are you doing to prepare?

Oh, yeah, and it's not too late!  Email your pet's Ugly Sweater Photos to danathebiped@gmx.com, and you might win a $10 pet store gift card!!!  (To be honest, your likelihood at this point of winning is almost certain...)


(True:  The 12/21 date may actually be a "give-or-take-60-days" appointment, which makes waiting for the cable guy seem pretty reasonable.)


Trapper has already proved he is ready to survive anything, and will come out the other side tail wagging.

6 comments:

  1. 12/21 is my MIL and FIL's anniversary. 52 years! That right there gives me hope for my marriage. But I digress. I don't usually make resolutions but I like yours. Please pass the beer!

    As for how we'll bite it, shrug. I've no clue and I like it that way. The cosmos can surprise me.

    Am I doing anything to prepare? Not that I can reveal in public ;)

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  2. You want to hear something absolutely crazy? My research into the Mayan calandar (yes, I do research for these silly things) taught me that the Long Calendar, the one we know of as ending in 2012, is just one of the calendars the meso-Americans created. The one they used for shorter spans of time, the Calendar Round, went in 52-year cycles. Talk about a coincidence!

    I'm really not a big preparer. I can hardly handle preparting for dinner, and anyway, at this point, I'm pretty jaded on The End of Days. I've apparently lived through a bunch already. But it does tickle my imagination.

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  3. The movie version of one of my favorite books is coming out on 12/21/2012. I already have plans to go to the midnight showing.

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  4. Oooh, really? What book/movie? I love going into movies knowing the end!

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  5. I'll have to look that one up--thanks!

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